April 22, 2020
My Self-Portrait Maternity Photoshoot
More often than not, when you see a portrait of me it’s usually taken by myself or my husband. I’m big on self-portraits because if I have a particular concept in mind, it’s often easier to create it myself rather than be the controlling, demanding, and tyrannical client to someone else. So naturally, when it came time for our second maternity and family portraits we chose to do it ourselves. I blocked out a one-hour reservation at my favorite minimalist studio here in Denver–Studio One. And to add more emphasis on this shoot, we planned to frame the images as our home wall art. It was going to be great. Of course, nothing went right. Our sweet 2-year-old daughter who seldom throws tantrums decided to throw a tantrum that day. We arrived 30 minutes late and the remaining 30 minutes consisted of crying and resisting in between hundreds of 5-second timers. I had been looking forward to this photoshoot for months. I nearly cried. We were lucky if we had one good photo from the studio.
But Sean looked at me calm, sympathetic, and unruffled, promising we’d take better ones at home. He’s always been quite the persistent one. He was right. Thanks to some M&M’s and Skittles I found deep in the back of our pantry, June’s attitude shifted and we ended up with some of my favorite self-portraits ever taken in our very own home, for us, by us.
These images are beautiful to me. They’re a visual metaphor of my nine months of pregnancy. Much like our photoshoot was derailed by the unexpected events, the unpleasant pregnancy symptoms overshadowed the excitement of what my body was doing and creating. In those months I felt hopeless and defeated. But the second we met our little one in the delivery room, every negative association to being pregnant evaporated like a distant memory.
When I look at the maternity photos I see a body that grew stronger and stronger by the day. I see a body that appreciated every little kick or movement little Olive was making. I see a body that nourished and birthed this little human being. These images are a reminder to me of what has been remarkable and what has been so, so very good in my pregnancy journey.
We were riding June’s emotional roller coaster
This was the first 10 minutes of our shoot so you can see the sheer panic on my face.
Screaming for dear life.
We tried to cheer her up the best we could.
June’s beloved buffalo blankie. She cried for this in every shot.
I think it’s so funny/interesting how the little toes and fingers are mini replicas of ours. June’s toes are definitely from Sean and I adore it.
Trying to cuddle and calm her.
It worked.
Then it didn’t. So I continued to love her best I could hoping it would calm her emotions.
One of our favorites from the studio.
She ran off soon after. Check out the DSLR remote Sean is holding!
Another one of our favorites.
This was towards the end of our studio shoot. I felt so much anxiety but felt bad she wasn’t having fun.
Then we got home and Sean continued to take photos of me and Olive in the belly.
And finally, I let all my anxieties go and really enjoyed every second of these moments captured.
June was so much happier during this portion of the shoot. But we also bribed her with candy like any good mother would do 😉
It was daddo’s turn but we ran out of candy. Oops.
She gets it from her daddo.
I’d do anything to see her smile and laugh like this.
And guess what…we framed them.
Special thank you to my sweet, patient husband who endured June and my emotional roaster just so we could get some maternity photos and family portraits to frame. And thank you to all who followed me along on this journey, lifting me when I needed lifting, loving me when I needed loving. I am so so very grateful.
xo,
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